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School Violence Is Preventable
16 Actions That Can Stop the Carnage
by, Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE
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Since the tragic school massacre in Littleton, Colorado, people have been asking the same questions, "Why did this happen?"
"How could it have been prevented?" "Could this happen in our school?" "What can we do to stop the school killings that are
occurring nationwide?" The answers to these questions are neither simple nor absolute. School violence affects every person
and it will take everyone's involvement to solve the problem. There are specific, practical steps each of us can take TODAY to
minimize the risks to our children and start resolving the problems that are the root of this phenomenon.
What Schools Can do
Beefed-up security may keep already-dangerous students outside the school building, but this only deals with the symptom of
the problem. It is not a lasting solution, nor does it help prevent students from becoming violent. Many schools are doing some
of the suggestions listed below, but could be doing more.
- Show zero tolerance for violence. This may result in some foolish pranks being overly punished, but will protect students
from real dangers.
- Start anonymous, free tip lines so students and the community can report suspicious activities.
- Set up peer mediation programs within schools.
- Sponsor parent education programs that teach both general parenting skills and those addressing special topics like
listening, communication, and problem-solving skills; effective discipline; and how to monitor the influence of the media
on children.
- Train school administrators and staff to recognize and effectively respond to violent students. Harsh, disrespectful
reactions can escalate revenge cycles. School staff should know the warning signs to look for and never underestimate
the validity of any report.
- Train students in conflict negotiation and anger management skills. This is where primary prevention and long-lasting
results start.
What Parents Can do
Because parents are the people closest to a child, society expects them to be aware of what their children are doing and to
address problems before it's too late. Sometimes parents ignore a problem, thinking "This is just a phase."
They may avoid confronting the child out of fear of retribution or be too busy with their own lives to realize a problem was so
serious. Sometimes, despite the parents' best efforts, a child may have problems so severe that long-term intervention doesn't
come quick enough to avert a problem. Usually, however, parents can help prevent problems if they have the courage to face
them head on.
- Get to know your children: who they are, what they think about, what they like, who their friends are, what their life is
like from their perspective. You won't learn these things by probing, lecturing or criticizing. You will learn all this by
really listening and asking nonthreatening questions that invite children to share more about themselves.
- Address the issue of gun safety openly and realistically. Ask whether your children's friends' homes have guns and
whether they are properly secured. Don't worry about offending a neighbor -- your child's life depends on it! If you own
a gun, don't underestimate a child's creativity and determination to bypass your security measures. Make it impossible
for children to get guns.
- Pay attention to whom and what is influencing your child.
- Know what books, magazines, television shows, movies, computer games, and electronic games your
child is using. Invite children to share with you and participate together. Whenever possible, preview demo files
or read review articles before purchasing or viewing these items.
- Supervise children's Internet use. Use a security code that you have to type in, so you know when you
children are on-line. Buy screening software if you can't be present. Monitor the websites they create and
regularly visit.
- Express concerns by stating family or societal values and the long-term risks of violent influences.
Demanding control is sure to escalate any resentment, revenge, or rebellion already brewing. In return, children
will simply hide their activities.
- If children don't agree to stop an activity that concerns you, set time or behavioral guidelines. If they begin
to express violent thoughts, statements or actions, they will need to give up that activity.
Have the courage to get help for children who display more than one of these warning signs:
- Prolonged, extreme depression;
- Violent speech, writings, or actions;
- Constant and/or intense anger;
- Withdrawal from family or society that is beyond "normal" shyness, teen privacy or independence;
- Involvement, fascination, or obsession with Satanism, white supremacy or other racism, darkness and evil, or
glamorized death, killing, and suicide
If children won't seek help, seek professional advice -- and follow it.
What Students Can do
Teenagers have a mini-society that bridges the gap between childhood and adulthood. Their internal gossip rarely reaches
adults --even when it should. Adults and teens basically want the same thing: for the teens to become their own persons in a
safe environment. If teens and adults can view each other as allies rather than adversaries, they can reach win/win solutions and
prevent school violence.
- Tell an adult if you see or hear anything suspicious. If everyone waits for someone else to speak up, it could be
too late for everyone. Take the risk -- your life and others' may be at stake.
- Write an anonymous note or call in a tip if you are afraid to speak up or don't want to seem like a "rat." It
doesn't matter how the authorities learn about a dangerous person -- as long as they do.
- Avoid pranks that even hint at violence or hurting others, especially in a school setting or involving school
personnel. These pranks are not funny and they certainly aren't cool. They can get you into very serious trouble that can
haunt you for years to come. It's just not worth it.
- Don't participate in closed, judgmental cliqués and teasing--they, too, are hate crimes.
Many of the school-killing assailants cited repeated teasing and rejection by their peers as one of their motives for revenge.
Treat all people with respect, even if they don't belong to your group. Diversity in life is normal; everyone being clones of the
cliqué leader is unrealistic and unhealthy. If your friends tease someone, be mature and walk away.
What the Community Can do
Many of us have a tendency to respect people's privacy too much, to the point that we don't investigate, question, or report
incidents we should. Whether we are a public servant or a community resident, we can be part of the solution:
- Monitor public forums of expression and report any alarming
statements/ writings that advocate racism, hatred, violence or the use of weapons. We can protect the right to free speech while being responsible for protecting children.
Seek a balance.
- Know your neighbors and watch out for their kids. It may be hard to inform them of what you know their child did,
but in the child and community's best interest you must try. If you get a hostile reaction, go directly to a public authority
like the police or school administrator.
- Public servants, take all reports seriously. Record every message so you will notice patterns emerging. Pursue
investigations until you are absolutely sure there is no further risk. Yes, this is more work, but the community will hold
their public servants accountable for problems that were brought to their attention and brushed aside. It takes less time,
paperwork, stress, and grief to prevent a problem than to deal with the aftermath of a tragedy.
- When each of us makes a commitment to take action and be part of the solution, our children can get back to the business of
getting an education in school, instead of fearing for their lives. Together, we can help them regain a sense of innocence,
security, and hope for the future that is every child's right.
Jody Johnston Pawel is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator and second-generation parent educator
with over twenty years' experience. She is the author of The Parent's Toolshop: The Universal Blueprints for Building a
Healthy Family, parent educator training programs, and many parenting advice articles. Jody provides her entertaining and
informative training programs each year to hundreds of parents and professionals. National magazines and newspapers
regularly quote her advice and she is a frequent guest on radio/TV talk shows throughout North America.
© April 1999, Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE
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